so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
