if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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