whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
