You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize