Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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  (949): I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay. http://tfl.nu/h3ep
  Replies (29) Good night (1196) Bad night (3698)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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  (678): How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart? http://tfl.nu/us70
  Replies (22) Good night (1531) Bad night (5877)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know

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  (936): He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know http://tfl.nu/tf12
  Replies (15) Good night (7397) Bad night (1365)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient

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  (646): Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient http://tfl.nu/jyiu
  Replies (29) Good night (1381) Bad night (5541)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck

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  (773): They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck http://tfl.nu/dsuf
  Replies (8) Good night (2151) Bad night (902)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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  (219): The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair. http://tfl.nu/a313
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (1730)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.

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  (603): It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders. http://tfl.nu/0knl
  Replies (3) Good night (1239) Bad night (1053)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises

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  (410): I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises http://tfl.nu/f0t9
  Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (465)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

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  (334): You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink. http://tfl.nu/xadi
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW

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  (239): THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW http://tfl.nu/gnot
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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  (716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?

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  (660): My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA (816): Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better? http://tfl.nu/yqa7
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.

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  (928): I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment. http://tfl.nu/bhdk
  Replies (3) Good night (316) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.

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  (317): IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS. http://tfl.nu/accm
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.

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  (306): like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad. http://tfl.nu/rz2w
  Replies (0) Good night (271) Bad night (222)

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