I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
