How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW