I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream