Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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