I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
