i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
