I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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