I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
