as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
