It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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