I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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