Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
