We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Randomize
