he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
