just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
