all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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