I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
