told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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