we're blogging at a bar
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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