So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
