I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
