What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
