What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize