We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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