Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Too much gin, very little bucket
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
