next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
