So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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