i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
