I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
birth control should be required to get into college
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
