matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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