she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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