yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize