We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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