I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
