Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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