then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I love you.
Bad choice
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