I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
