Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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