dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
