I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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