Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We need to get me chipped asap
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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