I accidentally burped into my bong.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
