I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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