My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
