I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
