i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
