so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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