I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
