Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
