So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Drunk is a universal language darling
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
