The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
