clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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