Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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