Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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