my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
