two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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