I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
