If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
